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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?